Thoughts while I listen to songs (Part 3) ~ Idina Menzel - Let It Go (Frozen version)

Here's a third post from Facebook to be brought over to my blog,  and from this point I hope to just post here, but I can't say things will be good everyday when I feel like writing, so we will see what the future holds for the next postings!   :)


 To add to my description of why I felt this song to hit deep home for me,  is the fact that I still feel like I am in my early 20s,   like my life stopped when cancer came to change the life I knew, and from this I will always be about ten years behind my actual age. So as I am 30 today, I still think as if I am in my early 20s, lol.

 Cancer truly isolated me to  my room,  to my bed for years in fact for the most part. I eventually tapped in to my stubborn side to overcome how I perceived my situation and imagined I was well and able to make myself beautiful, as opposed of how I saw my reflection of the mess I become with cancer,  and do all I wanted to do. I remember being at my worst in the scariest times where I was always cold, so I imagined it snowing outside,   and me in the mountains camping. I used imagination deeply and made my Secondlife avatar as pretty as I felt in the times I would imagine being well and doing all I wanted within the growing imaginative life I consumed my mind with all the impossibilities that can ever be in anyone's real life. Sometimes imagination mashes with real life and thoughts flow out,  much like what you will read below and turns into motivation to cope with my current situations. This is just me,  surviving life as I know it....

...

Herroooo....
In life, to survive the bad to enjoy the good, sometimes you have to reach into your past and remember the worst. Those memories can turn the winds of bad into a mild breeze.

I had a scan done again to see how the chemo treatments are working and they felt it best to continue full treatment weekly for two months but changes are pending how overall health holds up and scans later on too. For now, to help maintain a level of health just to get thru treatments, I am back to having the I.V. pole by my bed at home, but for now only need it for part of each day, mainly when I nap and sleep. It helps keep my hydration up, while times I am awake I am constantly taking sips of Pedialyte. This helps for low function liver and undergoing treatment with the almost daily puking each time I eat. ..I know, too graphic, but that's just the raw and truthful normalcy of it.

Anyways, I honestly rather not be very detailed of all I go thru in my days, but it was important to know at least that much to understand my thoughts while hearing an otherwise over-played song we all can admit we fell in love with. This song is from the Disney movie "Frozen", and is called "Let It Go", sung by Idina Menzel. (I still love each time it plays!)

This time I will not go lyric by lyric then my thoughts but will simply put my thoughts relative to the song, but will very much make sense if you already know the words. Here are my thoughts to this song in order to the actual lyrics........ but in my own changed lyrics.

(This took a lot to do for me so I hope u enjoy it for what it is and means to me for my focus in my journey, afterwards watch the video and feel the perspective I just shared with you in my version of the lyrics. Oh, and Cindy is my best friend/sis-in-law/caregiver!).........
.
.
[Let It Go - my journey's version]
-
-The sun shines white on my four walls today,
No one else is home for a while, Cindy is at work.
My room of cancer fighting social isolation,
And it looks again, I'm the queen.
.
The recent winds we had mimicked raging emotions
I hold inside.
At times my tears, I cant always keep them in,
heaven knows I do tried.
.
Don't want cancer again, spots on scans
I never want to see.
I want to be the healthy girl I always have to be.
Try concealing fears, being sick, try not letting it show.
Well some days they just know.
.
Our fears must go, just let them go,
I see Cindy's tears at times she cant hold
them back anymore.
My friend it's ok to just let them fall,
Let them go.
She often turns away to her room and slams her door.
.
I know she don't care of the bad the doctors say.
As the cool I.V. drips, and chemo storm rages on.
I'm a fighter, that cold never bothered me anyway.
.
It is funny how some journeys
Makes everything else seem small.
And these fears at times consume me,
I can't let them get to me at all!
.
Now it is time to prove what my will can do,
to be resilient and make it through.
Cant have worries with tears, no fears for me!
From fear I want to be free!!
.
So I must let them go, I let you know,
I'm prepared and optimistic, and this I do I try.
At home my tears I let them go,
but online they never show.
My online friends, you'll never see me cry.
.
But here I am...
And here I'll stay.
While this journey's storm rages on...
.
My will is great I will throw my fears onto the ground.
It hurts to see again my brother panic,
his mind is mostly scattered all around.
Please focus on cancer being killed by the poisonous chemo's blast.
God, I never want cancer back,
this suffering past was in the past!!
.
Cancer in this world must go, I want it to go.
May a cure rise like a phoenix, let us live on.
Life's plans we let them go,
our hair we let it go.
That familiar girl in the mirror is gone.
.
But here I stand....
And I'll fight everyday.
.
In my journey I rage on.
The chemo's coldness never bothered me anyway!

........


Here is the video, and beneath this are the original lyrics. This way you can see how my words fit with the original song to a point, but not singable in my version, lol.

Disney's Frozen "Let It Go" Sequence, Performed by Idina Menzel , original version:

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight,
not a footprint to be seen.
A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I'm the queen.

..
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside.
Couldn't keep it in, Heaven knows I tried.

..
Don't let them in, don't let them see.
Be the good girl you always have to be.
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know. Well, now they know!

..

Let it go, let it go!
Can't hold it back any more. Let it go, let it go!
Turn away and slam the door.

..
I don't care what they're going to say.
Let the storm rage on.
The cold never bothered me anyway.

..

It's funny how some distance,
makes everything seem small.
And the fears that once controlled me, can't get to me at all

..
It's time to see what I can do,
to test the limits and break through.
No right, no wrong, no rules for me.
I'm free!

..

Let it go, let it go.
I am one with the wind and sky.
Let it go, let it go.
You'll never see me cry.

..
Here I'll stand, and here I'll stay.
Let the storm rage on.

...

My power flurries through the air into the ground.
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I'm never going back; the past is in the past!

..

Let it go, let it go.
And I'll rise like the break of dawn.
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone

..
Here I stand, in the light of day.

..

Let the storm rage on!
The cold never bothered me anyway...

.........



I hope you all are doing well and enjoying life!
*loving hugs for all*
Ty for reading!
~Jennifer Wolf

Thoughts while I listen to songs (Part 2) ~Queen - Under Pressure

Hi, I'm just following up on another song that hit home for me and fits very well for most fighters and survivors of cancer, and it fit well with all I'm currently experiencing now too.

I currently am in between my second and third chemo treatments, and the good days are getting harder to come by but I am in no way complaining, nor am I in no way throwing any towel in on this full and aggressive treatment. Even though I have been coping with the physical and mental wake of post cancer chaos of the last 7+ years, my focus on having my life put back on track has never stopped. So it is with this focus that I am driven to use what health I have gained to go head first in the most aggressive option I was given, since it has that better chance of having a better life sooner.

My use of the word "soon" does not by any means define the true nature of fighting cancer of any type, especially some types like primary liver complicated by low liver function due to a remaining (yet mild case as the docs describe) auto-immune hepatitis condition.

Anyhoo, getting back to the point of the post, here is another song by Queen called Under Pressure. It is probably just my recent awareness of coincidences in life and the elements that make up some days for me, like listening to music or watching videos on YouTube, but I thought it would be good to share this with you all.


As with the last post with lyrics, I will use the same format:


("actual song lyric")

-followed by my thoughts relative to my perspective of my journey.








 ........................


Queen - Under Pressure

....

(Pressure
pushing down on me
pressing down on you
no man ask for)

-Cancer, Worry, Bills, Fear of the still unknown and undetected,
The Effects of the Meds, the Treatments, my Choices within the Options given by my oncologist that best fits my case... It all pushes down on me, as each fighter/survivor has their unique burdens of The Journey weighing down on them. It not only pushes down on us but pushes down on the family and friends. And I say this to you the reader... "Cancer pushes down on me, Pushes down on you..." ... and neither of us asked for this, , . cancer and all that ensues within each fighting journey is truly something no person will ever ask for!

...

(under pressure
that burns a building down
splits a family in two
puts people on streets)

-All that bears down, all that is involved with fighting cancer, any stage of cancer, will place strain on even the most resilient individual's life. A life that has either been built up within many years or has just begun and still is in development with plans for college, plans for success, ... plans... ...a life built, no matter the stage it is built up on, comes to a abrupt halt and for many, all that was built is burned down. This very change in one's life can sometimes sadly distance some otherwise very close people in your life once you break the news you have cancer. For some, myself included, become very close to being put on the streets, but I am fortunate to have such a wonderful friend who stood up and accepted her life to be changed by my cancer, that which I had no other choice but to have my life changed by it. In many regards it has been a good change equally with the bad, but it is a perspective only explained by each individual. Sadly for some, the fight can result in loss of home and therefor those fighters end up on the streets by the insane financial strains fighting cancer brings.

...

(It's the terror of knowing
what this world is about
watching some good friends
screaming "let me out"
pray tomorrow
gets me higher
pressure on people
people on streets
It's the terror of knowing
what this world is about
watching some good friends
screaming "let me out"
pray tomorrow
gets me higher
pressure on people
people on streets)

-For everyone on earth directly and indirectly effected by cancer, the fight will never end, because we constantly strive to find something or someone who knows what can make the suffering less or end it completely with a cure. While reading, searching and inquiring for such better ways, we find ourselves engulfed by this community of fighters and survivors alongside wonderful caregivers. The fact that this truth that cancer is happening all around us and for many it occurs without a way of curing it fully due to the lack of detecting it early, .. it is truly terrifying of knowing what this world is all about, especially when one watches a friend suffering with late stage cancer and medicated in bed, unable to get up on their own anymore, wake up terrified screaming "Let me out!" ..Our freedoms in life are something no one should ever take for granted, freedoms like walking to the bathroom on your own, cooking for yourself or just being able to think clearly without forgetting what it was you were thinking about a second ago. We all pray in our own ways for better tomorrows and optimism and positive thinking does get our spirits higher for sure, no matter where the fighter of cancer ends up, be it at home with their spouse, with parents, a friend or on the streets. It is truly crucial to have positiveness in each perspective compared to the individual bases for comparison to result in optimism for that bit of quality of life.

...

(Turned away from it all like a blind man
sat on a fence but it don't work
keep coming up with love but it's so slashed and torn
why, why, why!
Love....)

-Many people have not been touched by cancer, and many choose to ignore it. turning that blind eye on cancer and the need to find the cure is not ever going to work to save those we love later on. Sitting on the fence waiting and procrastinating to learn more about the basics of cancer and how you can help is not the solution for a cure, ..."it don't work!" ....sitting on that fence for that cure to just pop up will not save those you love, and every single person who does help brings that cure that much closer. Imagine if no one helped find this cure we still seek.... how can anyone imagine that while imagining loving our family and friends who find that cancer crept into their lives, leaving their lives slashed and torn without any cure due to no one helping. Today we are so fortunate we do have people helping, but to those who don't help, I cant help but to ask, "why? why? why?" The answer why we all help is: "Love"...

...

(insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
can't we give ourselves one more chance
why can't we give love that one more chance
why can't we give love, give love, give love
give love, give love, give love, give love, give love)

-For those of us who have experienced a cancer journey that spans many years, it is through sheer dark humor that sometimes helps us cope with the day to day miseries we struggle with, be it keeping food down while we joke our body confused the food with cancer and threw it out, or we just come up with funny reasons why we forget something so easy like the name of a friend, but we hope they laugh too, but under the pressures of the worry they have for us we too worry and find our sanity sometimes cracks. All we can do is focus on the love we have for each other and just understand that love is the basis for all we do for one another, and it is why we fight, to hold onto time to be with those we love, for more time, more loving time. We must relay for life, relay for time, relay for love, to give love that one more chance. Give love, give hope, give hope.. Love and hope...

...

(Cause love's such an old fashioned word
and love dares you to care for
the people on the edge of the night
and love dares you to change our way of
caring about ourselves
this is our last dance
this is ourselves
under pressure
under pressure
pressure)

-Because Love is the true old fashioned reason we seek for the cure. Love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the darkness of their lives who struggle to eat, to breath, to live, to love you back with open eyes to not show that pain they feel for the sake of those who love them... That love dares humanity to change our way of caring about ourselves as a civilized species. Dares us all to continue relaying for life until that cure is found, because for many of us who are still fighting for life, for time, for a normal life... This is our last dance, and as a whole, this is our last dance, our last chance to help those we love. This is our last chance, this is ourselves under pressure. This is us relaying for life, it is that pressure that drives us to care, to change our way we care for ourselves and for those fighting for life.
And, as one of the many who currently are fighting hard to beat this disease inside of us, "This IS our last dance, this is ourselves, under pressure!" ....


.......................

~Jennifer Wolf March 28, 2016
(My thoughts listening to this song)

...again, thank you for reading, bye for now!
~Jennifer Wolf  o:)

Thoughts while I listen to songs (Part 1) ~Queen - The Show Must Go On

Another re-post from Facebook as the last post was. There will be a couple more like this so bear with me. Now on to the post.....




Hi everyone, right now I'm pretty well medicated, and yet oddly I am thinking slightly clearer for the moment, or I just got really good rest. I woke up with a song running in my mind that has been sorta my mantra lately as I enter a new chapter of a journey I honestly hoped would not be so strewn with issue after issue with complications and whatnot of all that is relative to the subject of attempted cancer survival, physically, mentally and equally emotionally.

...

Bear with me and this odd format as I'm typing this from my brother's phone again, and it may be still hard to follow my words, but I do feel a bit clear right now, I hope it lasts through the day, I think its from getting good rest after yesterday though. I still think it is odd though.

...

The song is by Queen, and I am very certain most of you know it. The song is called "The Show Must Go On"

Now first, one should think how someone fighting cancer would think, perhaps numerously fighting cancer, and imagine the thoughts this person would have relative to the words in the lyrics of this song. So with that in your mind, here is thought spurts as I listen to this song....

[The format is ...

("actual song lyric") 

-followed by my thoughts relative to my perspective of my journey.....]


...


Queen - The Show Must Go On

...

("Empty spaces - what are we waiting for
Abandoned places - I guess we know the score
On and on
Does anybody know what we are living for")

-The once full life of activity and productive focus all turn vacant within the fog of meds taken to survive, what kind of life is this in this moment of feeling so totally outside yourself, lost in thoughts, lost on focus, lost of momentum.


...


("Another hero another mindless crime
Behind the curtain in the pantomime
Hold the line
Does anybody want to take it anymore")

-Another possible cure, another wait for approval of use to save lives now... so many ways to help so many, yet the cure remains covered from our eyes, ...for many of us time runs short and we cant take cancer anymore...


...


("The show must go on
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on")

-Relaying for life goes on, we must strive on, towards a cure....
So many are lost each day, my heart breaks,....and as I lay in my bed thinking of this new round of chemo, and how it is only to isolate this cancer only to my liver, eliminating any spread, where then they will deal with the tumor there, I feel like I am falling apart inside, .... I just think of ways to stay smiling.


...


("Whatever happens I'll leave it all to chance
Another heartache another failed romance
On and on
Does anybody know what we are living for
I guess I'm learning
I must be warmer now
I'll soon be turning round the corner now
Outside the dawn is breaking
But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free")

-I feel good about this time, I know I can win, but accept the destination of my path, although it hurts to say, I am prepared for what-if's chances, ..life's past relationships, and those I have hope in the future, this just hurts my heart to think being alone for longer is just my new normal. Perhaps my reasons to still be here on earth is beyond relationships, ...if only I knew what my reasons were. I do not want to miss out on that, so I fight on...
I have learned so much from having cancer, life is still short no matter how long I do survive, I must do my best to be the best me in this world, and accept the gifts life brings, living to the fullest yet accepting what lies around each unseen bend. This life may still be in it's light of dawn, but here I am in the seemingly darkness of my health again, and I just ache to be free........


...


("The show must go on
The show must go on - yeah
Ooh inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on
Yeah oh oh oh")

-The fight must go on, I will carry on, for sure!....
I may be falling apart again while poisons run inside of me, soon bald again, soon even worst feelings of yukky sick and schedules for operations to put me back together after yet another tumor extraction possibility, ....for the sake of myself but mainly for my family here, my smile still stays on.


....


("My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies
Fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die
I can fly - my friends")

-As I sit here thinking of my past 7+ years with cancer in my life I feel the gifts of what life brought me thru friends and experiences.... oh, these words say it best, my favorite part of this song...
* 'My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies, Fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly - my friends!' ... *
....My fight is taking flight my friends, I am optimistic, yet I am not bulletproof, this smile shows bright thru the tears that run on my face as fearful thoughts still run thru my mind based on my past experiences...


...


("The show must go on - yeah
The show must go on
I'll face it with a grin
I'm never giving in
On with the show
I'll top the bill
I'll overkill
I have to find the will to carry on
On with the
On with the show
The show must go on.
The Show Must Go On, The Show Must Go On")

-My fight goes on, this battle continues on, I face it with this grin, and I'm never giving in!...
I will beat this thing, continue to relay in my way, this cancer will be killed, I have the will to carry on, my life must go on!"


...


~Jennifer Wolf -mar. 18, 2016
(Thoughts I had as I listened to this song)
...

...

Ty for reading.
Bye for now,
  ~Jennifer Wolf  o:)

Relay For Life of Second Life!! o:)

Relay For Life of Second Life is about to begin. SL is a 3D virtual world social online format, and today is the World's largest event in any virtual format, raising funds going to ACS (American Cancer Society). This is the 100th year of ACS, and so is this year's theme, "Celebrating 100 Years Of Hope!" . This year we hope to see the all time total of $2million since 2005! I will be relaying on the virtual track, lighting luminarys along the way. I built the Hope Lodge along with our team at our team camp along the track, and on the info wall, has an info board showing badges from Is My Cancer Different? and clicking on them leads the clicker to the web site! My team in SL is RFL ADvocacy, and that is exactly what we do, advocate, and I am so happy to be here to have this chance, to live, to smile, to type this, to help others be sure they are SURE they are diagnosed correctly, get all answers answered, and get all tools to learn everything about their cancer/s. I love you all, and I am passing out smiles and hugs too ! *big hugs* Here's a few pics. 

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/969328_687649211261956_677156932_n.jpg

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/1011295_685787264781484_825140468_n.jpg

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/1069230_687649041261973_1396244592_n.jpg

https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/47981_687649034595307_1137953919_n.jpg

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/972036_687649031261974_1830851050_n.jpg

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/944765_687649194595291_1407008358_n.jpg

for pics leading up to  and during the event, take a looky here!
https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.wolf.3994/media_set?set=a.671552542871623.1073741829.100000506492928&type=3

Join in to T1 Radio broadcasting the event. It is the least to do to join in, if you can not make it into SL.
http://www.t1radio.com/


To read more on Relay For Life of SL...
http://rflofsl.intuitwebsites.com/

My convio page,  where you can donate to RFL  and have a way to print a receipt to  turn in along with tax stuffs so this donation is tax deductible!    My story is  on this page,   please   read,  and  remember those   lost,   and fighting today.   *hugs* 

TY for reading ,

*bug hugs and love to all*    ~Jenn o:)

THE GIRL IN THE MIRROR - part 2 ...and more PC fun, lol

First off,  I'M BACK!!!!   :D       LOL

THE FACES OTHERS SEE IN THEIR OWN MIRRORS

Many are known for their faces, some so recognizable that strangers take second looks and smile to their own little accomplishment of knowing someone they never met, but recognized only by looks alone from fame or simply sharing the same times on a sidewalk commute day after day.  Many are known by their amazing things they do, extraordinary service for others, above and beyond the call of their respected duties. Those who serve in the military,  fire department, or even the police.  My Godfather was a Los Angeles police officer, I will not disclose his division.  Many things turned bad, told to me by my dad when I was little, so my knowledge is still based on my childhood perspective and comprehension. My brother got to know him better than I did, even knew him back when he was still on the force. Unfortunately, there was corruption going on deeply in the ranks of his division, and many of those who did not avert their eyes to the internal crimes, were "dealt with", targeted, threatened, and for some, well...    My God-father is a good man, I remember him as so but long ago, and I know that much only by what time I did know him he could not possibly do the bad many around him were guilty of.  He was one of the good ones in fact, even earned the Metal of Valor, yet he was still harassed,  and threatened years later when his time came to be called to testify against the guilty. He has since moved and we not heard from him in many years, but I do hope he is doing well.  

MEDIA STUFFS, INTERNAL STUFFS...    IS ALL FULLY KNOWN THESE DAYS?

The media focused on key stories that involved the corruptions in that division, but much of all that occurred, remained  hidden from main media, and so was resolved, eventually.  This mess of events, which really began long before, was before the time my family moved from L.A.   So...  people are known for their  actions, their choice to do the right thing no matter what threats go towards them. The media, mainly the parts that mention more details, mention of those who stood up for the right, those who testified,  those who faced life changing risks, those who are only known for what they did, rather than by their faces or their looks alone. My Godfather, among others,  never were mentioned by name for what they did,   which was, to believe in the  reason they were given their badges to begin with, belief in justice,  the right thing,   morality of society,  even tho that is at times hard to believe exists in this day and age with all the shootings and killings going on.

WORDS FROM ONE END IS WORTH WORDS FROM THE "OTHER" END IF NOT FILTERED THROUGH THE HEART!!!

Everyone who is known for one thing or other involving "goodness" all have one thing in common,  they have hearts. Unfortunately not all think or "speak" with or through their heart but only from the dark  areas of their mind and that only spawns bullying, and  social degradation, especially on the many online formats of communications (too many to mention).  If only  everyone could speak to each other online the same as they would if  having a face-to-face conversation, then things might be a bit different in today's online world.  Along with advocating cancer awareness,  as well as other health disorders, I also support and will be advocating more on Anti-bullying, and will continue to just be me,  being just one example of online existence that is based on living life to it's fullest, with smiles, happiness of surrounding atmosphere online and even in real life, and words of loving nature with care and passion, as well as understanding and acceptance.

THE GIRL IN THE MIRROR...  WHERE SHE BEEN?!!!

Now for my reasons I been  gone for the last two months, lol.  My PC  had some hard times with an old hard drive and I just felt I had to just clean up old files and  things would be fine.  My  drives are well organized and I run  more than one hard drive in my PC, but the main hard drive  reached it's end so things went poof, along with my main rough drafts of my blog and other writing I had done.  I did manage to  access some files I needed that I really needed,  but  not everything, lol.   But, it is not the end of the world,  I did find that I copied part of my rough draft of this blog post here at least in a saved post unpublished, and so I was able to continue with it,  lol.  ...so YAY!!!


 

BIG "TY" TO CATHY AND STRETCH FOR THEIR HELP BRINGING ME BACK TO FULL ONLINE FUNCTION!!! 

I  did get a hard drive to fix my PC, and great thanks to a dear friend for that.  I can continue my work now and keep in touch with the jewels of my life's crown.  Friends are like jewels in a crown to me, and just like I am able to see the girl in the mirror that I no like to see,  some jewels I have in my life have some special "facets" that gives me a reflection of me I feel so much more comfortable with than what I do see in the mirror, I feel I am still the me I remember in the "reflection" they give me.   I would not  be able to be happy without my life's jewels/my friends,  they all are so precious to me and  they  show me that love is a great thing this world still has all around. Loving friends together sure can bring on the full balance of life no matter what the obstacles that life lies before any one of us.  Again, ty for helping me, allowing me to help others in turn!  o:')

THE GIRL IN THE WINDER,  LOL

So I must say it is so great to be back online and be slowly regaining my momentum I had before, lol.  I still am just half ways through reinstalling everything I had and use practically everyday. I did have to use Linux once again to check email, lol. Live CD is great but  I just wish it was more like Windows like I am so used to running, lol.  I will learn Linux one day and not be so lost, but for now I am so happy to have my old Windows XP 32 bit again, lol.  I  do  hope to get Win 7 64bit someday, in due time as always, lol.  I will be saving my pennies to pay Bill Gates for his awesome Winders 7 Pro 64bit!!  :D  (yes I said "winders"  LOL)

For now, I must cut this one short since I am still installing stuffs and must get back to my work in Second Life building for our team camp along the virtual Relay Track for the Relay For Life event. I will be posting  pics on Facebook, so do check when you can for updates!

Bye for now everyone, *big hugs to all*  ~Jenn  o:)

Time to Relay For Life!

I have joined a team this year!

 

Yes I am going to be relaying this year for sure. I had a lot go on last year and every chance I had "me" time I had barely enough to write my blogs and take my rest. Along with reading up on things I was going thru and getting tested for. As you may know by now if you are following my blogs, I finally was told all-clear after all the crazy testings and scans trying to confirm odd results that made no sense. So many times results are effected by other situations and may cause erratic results in tests.

And now on to the Relay For Life profile I now have. I placed hyperlinks into this blog, so click on the "link" corresponding to the subject mentioned. I joined RFL ADvocacy team in Second Life which has a profile on the American Cancer Society site for events. I now have my profile up as a team member and I hope to see more members join and/or donate towards out effort. Donations can be made anytime from now until Saturday, July 13, 2013. And even after, you can still donate because it all helps towards funding research for a cure for cancer and the search for more information made available to all who need it, along with services and support for those battling cancer.

My summarized story as I put on my team member profile page ...

 

Why I Participate in a Relay Event

 

As a survivor (finally told "all clear for now" on October 30th, 2012), I can easily, yet still emotionally, recall exactly how I felt when I was given the approximate duration I had left to live, the shock of it, the fear, the disbelief. In all honesty, I felt hopelessness from what I was told, and I felt, if they "cant do anything else at this point", then what can I do? I remember thinking, "how can this be, in this time and age of technology? All that has been found on cancer, all that could be done in our time and nothing can be done at this point?", yet I was given a terminal diagnosis anyway.

This was back in the end of 2008, after having gone through two emergency operations, and at a time I would start having further complications from the first, leading to yet another emergency operation when for the second time, I would have in my medical records of being revived during surgery. Despite of saying nothing could be done, I was still saved numerous times trying to live up my diagnosis. I am proof we DO NOT have expiration dates when cancer enters our lives.

Who I'm Participating For 

 

I'm relaying for all touched by cancer and those who know someone who has. That is you and I, and just about everyone else in between. I relay because before I knew of how sick I had become back in August-September of '08, people were relaying for life, raising money to help fund research and improve the chances of the then future cancer fighters, like me.

I relay today, am alive today, because of all those who relayed before me, made it possible for me to be saved in moments most would not before the advances made thru research, which is greatly funded by events as relay for life. It is a miracle to me I survived, I am the 4% of 2%, I usually just say 2%, but my chance to hear that "all-clear" was much less than 2%. Complicated, yes,  but if you think of it, that's 4% of 2%, so take 100 people, then choose only 2,  then say to them only 4% of you two will survive this.

That is me, 4% of 2%. I'm here because of all those who relayed for life, my life and the lives of many now saved ...Ill never finish thanking God for all the wonderful people who cared to relay for life before, during and now today with me. The way I see it now, Relay For Life is a very great support for life I never knew I had until I came to need it.

Why I Support the American Cancer Society (ACS)

 

ACS has invested in vital research for a cure, and in that search has found numerous ways to improve life during the battle and increase survival rates. They have advocated the importance of risk reduction and early detection. ACS also provides free information and services for those who are in need throughout their battle with cancer.

The amount of research advances made due in great part from the investments ACS has made from funds raised from donations, especially through relay for life events, have made leaps and bounds to gain more technology, more advanced procedures that were considered far too risky before, or were simply just unknown before. ACS works with lawmakers to get laws passed to fight cancer risks. Through invested research, risks are found and can be targeted for elimination and knowledge found and shared to all so risks can be lowered before getting cancer by lifestyle changes involving better diet and exercise.

We have great finds today, due to the research that benefits from relay for life events. Many advances in healthcare today exists because people came together, had events called Relay For Life, and raised money to fund further research, to search for the holy grail cure for the worldwide fight against this disease called cancer. And I for one am thankful for all ACS has done so far with all my heart.

Life sure can be a funny crazy thing, but so worth the fight

 

My own battle was far from conventional, but the main events in my fight, battled in the hospital, were followed with my eventual return home, because of the amazing doctors and technology we now have. I am fully thankful to ALL those who relayed before me, who relayed in the name of those in their own battle, and of those lost in the past, and because of such events to raise funds for cancer research, those with the same type of cancer today are now being saved with a much higher rate of survival.

I thank you all who have relayed with me while I battled my own fight during a time I had already become a survivor of my own expiration date given to me by the first doctors. During a time I was very slowly becoming a thriver, with cancer, regaining strength in health to be able to chance the harsher medications combined with the other mess of meds that were keeping me "maintained" in the diagnosis' progress thought at first to end my life, yet thankfully, the cancer shrank in the places left after surgery removed the removable, along with lymph nodes and a liver lobe, which thankfully can regenerate and has.

There has been casualties in my battle, and what you are reading now is now my only voice. I am left mute from a severed nerve during a tumor extraction from my larynx. But as many would tell me, I have been louder now than I ever was before.

It's unbelievable, perhaps it was all a nightmare. Did I really hear him say "all clear"? Am I still dreaming in a hospital bed? If so, please don't wake me. SERIOUSLY!

 

OMG, how crazy this all sounds even to me, and yet this is just pieces of the whole story which I have a hard time believing myself, but I did live it, and I am happy to be able to relay for life. I still have a long way to go to regain health back to where I left off, but I am constantly improving my condition after I came so close many times through the battle and left with a mess of "me". But this "me" now is stronger, resilient, experienced in all the aspects of the darkest hours of the battle and now someone who understands the importance of advocacy, importance of living life to the fullest and to continue to relay for life for the rest of the time I am thankful to have gifted each day I awake.


Now lets relay, I myself am signed up to walk and fund raise in the Relay For Life of Second Life event. We would love for you to join us, so consider joining our team and/or make a donation in support of our efforts.
You can even Dedicate a Luminaria to someone you know who is a survivor, or surviving their ongoing battle, or especially those you have lost to cancer. It is a great way to give tribute to their efforts through their journey.

         Lets relay together....
                ...for life
                    ...for more birthdays
                        ...for the dream of a cure
                            ...to end this disease forever!


~Jennifer C. Wolf (BOOTEDGIRL Foxtrot)  o:)

RFL Advocacy Exchange Team Logo

*********************

 

For more info on our team, visit the team blog at Advocacy Exchange. 
If you want to know more about the event and/or past RLFof SL events, visit Relay For Life of Second Life
And also for more history info of RFLofSL events, visit History-of-RFL-of-SL

Also never forget to be informed on everything involving your cancer diagnosis. Its best to know everything you possibly can so that you can make educated choices for your treatments and how you can tackle down your cancer no matter what your diagnosis turns out to be. Never forget, we never wear an expiration tag!
Visit "Is My Cancer Different?" for a great start to learning how to find out more information on cancer of a loved one or of yourself.

And remember...     YOU ARE NOT ALONE.     *hugs*   o:)

Come relay with us!    
*big hugs to all*   bye for now and be well 
~Jennifer C. Wolf (BOOTEDGIRL Foxtrot)  o:)