Posted on my fb Nov 29th 2012...
This is a very good article on the health of
caregivers. I know how hard it has been for my best friend, I know
how hard it could have been if she did not have the help of my older
brother and many others who have helped her, help me. Physical health
is very important for caregivers as is the social and mental health.
Many times, I heard her crying in her room, many, many times, and
most of those times were during times I could only wish I could simply
get up, go
to her room, and hug and hold
her, tell her "its ok, I'm ok, things will be ok.....". I know
her life changed just as much as mine has, a great sacrifice of all she
knew as normal in her own life, to care for me. At one point I had to
insist she return to work, because she was home, 24 hours a day,
leaving only to go to the store during times my nurse came over. She was
becoming paranoid and ironically, this occurred at a time I was feeling
a little better after my last major surgery. She did return to work
part time, and had me send her email texts every half hour, to be sure I
was ok. To this day, I still send her emails twice a day when she is at
work. Understanding of concerns caregivers have is of great importance,
for it is only them loving us that they worry so deeply, and they need
that love back in return in any way possible. So understanding even the
crazy little things they need/ask, is the least anyone can do to show
support for a caregiver.
Burnout is very easily done in even less extreme cases. I hope this article reaches all who are assisting, caring for, living with and watching over someone battling cancer, or any other illness requiring assistance for that matter. Caregiving is one of the most wonderful, selfless acts of love. They need just as much support as the one they care for too. If you know of anyone who is a caregiver of someone battling for their life, give support to them, even if its a hug, or to offer to grab something at the store while you are getting your own groceries too. Anything small can be a great help to caregivers as it can be that one small yet necessary thing they push themselves to do, that may bring them closer to a burnout. And that can be, by example of my observation of my best friend over these past four years, "caregivers becoming very sick" (overwhelming situations and extensive emotional hardship can weaken the immune system, allowing harsh flues and colds to overtake caregivers), "caregivers going thru emotional breakdown and/or crying throughout the night" (in the past, during times my results of tests/scans were not as good as hoped, or my loss of appetite and I could not eat, became too weak to go to the bathroom on my own, or falling too many times when I tried to go on my own, or me sleeping excessively or not at all due to pain, etc.). ...
There is so much I could go on about my observations of what she went thru. I hate the few things that she had to deal with on top of everything else, and that was my stubborn choices, my own hard moments of coping, and mood swings. I know I was not the easiest person to be around many times, and I wish I was better able to cope better, but I know, much was from medications and fears and well, the deeply dark thoughts one can have in the absolute darkest hours of coping, or better described as failure of coping on my part. Drastic actions and stupid things that went on, ....... I just wish I was never sick at all to have made her deal with all that. But she got thru it and brought me thru it all.
Now Caregivers are not only those who physically assist the sick, but those who give emotional support, or simply talk, chat, spend time with someone who is needing to talk/chat during times of late hours, or times when the main caregiver is away at the store or at work. I can name many, many people who have fit such a role for me, some in even the greatest way of support thru love as well. I owe a great deal of my survival to them too, as they took over where my best friend went to sleep (or tried to), or went in to work, or to the store. Panic attacks don't have a schedule and the need to talk to someone can happen at any time, therefore, I consider many of my dearest friends online, as caregivers. Many times panic attacks were silent, unseen and unmentioned to those on the other side of online chats, and little do they know that they just saved me from a hard long sleepless night deep in fear brought on by otherwise unstoppable thoughts of every "what if" scenario of upcoming tests/scans, or the anxiety filled "wait" for the results afterwards.
I hope this post finds all in good health, and if you know of anyone who is going through a hard time while caring for someone, please do help if you can. Caregivers need as much support as those they care for.
Share this post to anyone you know who is caring for someone, and let them know they are not alone, and so very appreciated, no matter how things may seem/look, or sometimes seem as if the care is refused. Denial and coping is a hard deep dark place we go through at times in our battles, So caregivers take alot of circumstantial abuse in such difficult times.
Thank you for reading. *big hugs to all* ~Jennifer C. Wolf o:)
Burnout is very easily done in even less extreme cases. I hope this article reaches all who are assisting, caring for, living with and watching over someone battling cancer, or any other illness requiring assistance for that matter. Caregiving is one of the most wonderful, selfless acts of love. They need just as much support as the one they care for too. If you know of anyone who is a caregiver of someone battling for their life, give support to them, even if its a hug, or to offer to grab something at the store while you are getting your own groceries too. Anything small can be a great help to caregivers as it can be that one small yet necessary thing they push themselves to do, that may bring them closer to a burnout. And that can be, by example of my observation of my best friend over these past four years, "caregivers becoming very sick" (overwhelming situations and extensive emotional hardship can weaken the immune system, allowing harsh flues and colds to overtake caregivers), "caregivers going thru emotional breakdown and/or crying throughout the night" (in the past, during times my results of tests/scans were not as good as hoped, or my loss of appetite and I could not eat, became too weak to go to the bathroom on my own, or falling too many times when I tried to go on my own, or me sleeping excessively or not at all due to pain, etc.). ...
There is so much I could go on about my observations of what she went thru. I hate the few things that she had to deal with on top of everything else, and that was my stubborn choices, my own hard moments of coping, and mood swings. I know I was not the easiest person to be around many times, and I wish I was better able to cope better, but I know, much was from medications and fears and well, the deeply dark thoughts one can have in the absolute darkest hours of coping, or better described as failure of coping on my part. Drastic actions and stupid things that went on, ....... I just wish I was never sick at all to have made her deal with all that. But she got thru it and brought me thru it all.
Now Caregivers are not only those who physically assist the sick, but those who give emotional support, or simply talk, chat, spend time with someone who is needing to talk/chat during times of late hours, or times when the main caregiver is away at the store or at work. I can name many, many people who have fit such a role for me, some in even the greatest way of support thru love as well. I owe a great deal of my survival to them too, as they took over where my best friend went to sleep (or tried to), or went in to work, or to the store. Panic attacks don't have a schedule and the need to talk to someone can happen at any time, therefore, I consider many of my dearest friends online, as caregivers. Many times panic attacks were silent, unseen and unmentioned to those on the other side of online chats, and little do they know that they just saved me from a hard long sleepless night deep in fear brought on by otherwise unstoppable thoughts of every "what if" scenario of upcoming tests/scans, or the anxiety filled "wait" for the results afterwards.
I hope this post finds all in good health, and if you know of anyone who is going through a hard time while caring for someone, please do help if you can. Caregivers need as much support as those they care for.
Share this post to anyone you know who is caring for someone, and let them know they are not alone, and so very appreciated, no matter how things may seem/look, or sometimes seem as if the care is refused. Denial and coping is a hard deep dark place we go through at times in our battles, So caregivers take alot of circumstantial abuse in such difficult times.
Thank you for reading. *big hugs to all* ~Jennifer C. Wolf o:)
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