The Dead PC - R.I.P.

   Well,  my Dell died back in october 22,  2011,    due to bad capacitors,   a really dum  way to go out if you ask me, lol.  I ordered a new set to replace the baddies,  but,  after all was done,  it was still dead.    So now,  I have the cpu, which I hope is still good,  the 4 1gig sticks of ram,  and the  viddy card to move over to a soon to be built  generic pc,  which  I now have all the parts,  except for the  I/O shield for the motherboard I got from a bulk sell off,  grr.  *note to self* "never buy bulk sell off items again"  lesson learned and now I wait  for the slow shipping of this  little piece of metal,  to begin assembling these parts into what I hope is a working pc, lol.  My fear is the fact this mobo was once a bulk item put into storage (I assume) and could just be a pretty paper weight. Ya,  that and the fact  the 30 days  return window  has been running since almost two weeks ago,  while I wait for the rest of the parts,  has me  bugging out more than I have been bugging without my puter!

 So,  now most would just say,   hook it all up to see if it  runs before  installing it into the case.  Umm,  ya,  I thot of that, but due to  the  recent  desert dry  weather  we been having and  the  fact I  get a shock from static each time I  flip a light switch just   scares me to bring out the mobo out of the  esd bag it is in,   *bzzzt*   dammits!     Soo..  my idea is,    Im going to  boil a big pot of water,    maybe  two pots,  and boil for an hour or so,   raise the humidity some and test on the kitchen table.

Anyhoo,     why am I even typing this?    and  some would ask,  how am I typing this?,   Well,    my best friend's dad sent over an old office dell pc  that had a dead hard drive.   Ya, another dell, lol, AHHHHH!! Well, I put in the original hdd from my deaded dell, since I wont need that , lol, and formatted and installed ubuntu linux, lol. To my surprise, it works, but, Im no linux fan, Im no MS fan either but, I know windows xp, not linux. And yes, I can learn, and yes, some ppl would argue till they are red in their faces and say I can do anything in linux that I cud do in winblows, NOT! Ya, I sed not, you cant run IMVU in linux, not even if you use wine, LOL. Wine? who names these things? must been drunk writing that prog, lol, who knows, it works for some stuff but, not for IMVU updated versions, I tried, it crashes, and no I will not follow some mundane process to fix it, when I cud simply uninstall in sindows and reinstall and all is fine in my life of puterville. Terminal install? , lol, well, it has its place, and its easier than what they had before in linux Im sure, but, no ty, I have not the inspiration to reformat my brain to learn a new OS that is far from mainstream tech compared to what MS has going on that I know how to run! MMHMM! :P  And dont try to argue with me any points of linux justifications, Ill not hear you since my ears receive sound via winamp shoutcast,  lolol .   Oh ya!, winamp wont run in linsux, lol, my bad, lets try vlc, wait, Im downloading codecs,  hold on, I gotta install in terminal, type password, *it aborts*, type password again, (why does it abort on first time u type the pw?) *cant find codec* ,   OK, so Ill try this...* double clicks file just downloaded* "gedit has not been able to detect the character encoding." wth? *hits cancel*  no installing? , grr, ..... ya, this is easy, :P, wait... let me install winblows, at least Ill have shoutcast running sooner than I wud in lindorx. lol,

At least I can browse the web, read stuff, watch amusing silly videos on  youtube, not netflix , cuz, *laughs* it needs silverlite watever installed that runs only on MS OS's! no netflix then, yet it continues to be paid to keep open my account, lol, ... Back to yootoob, cant watch in high def, cuz the driver issue with my uber sucky non-express regular-pci viddy card that has just 128 mb ram, and slow as can be clock speeds, runs slower than the onboard graphics, yet, the onboard lags worst, hence why I put in this pci old viddy card. OMGarsh! I wants my puter!    ok, Im ok,    mebbe,  :P ...

Now, Im learning alot about linux, it has no benifits over microsuck "lose"-dows, except for the fact theres much less viruses and all the baddie stuffs written for MS OSs, lol   It has its good points, and I aim to find them if I ever can get solitair to let me win , once, at least,   geez, lol,... I can email, chat in fb, even get into sl, sorta.    Second Life lags bad with this, this needs more  graphics power and this viddy is no power card I sez! :P

I no complaining, exactly, well, ok, I am, but I have reason to, but its in contrast only to my life, not others, so, back off if you bout to tell me that others have it worst, cuz, I know that, , Im just bugged about all the work I done in my land in sl building Halloween stuffs and creating a big spooky place to have fun in and invite friends to, , but then, my puter done broke, and Halloween passed on, and now I cant even see the whole thing from one point, draw distance too low, cant see far, if I put it up, it freezes , crashes, etc. grrr.. I just hope this mobo I gots works out and everything goes in without problems.

Well , I need to stop for now cuz typing this out on this linsucky pc is irritating, because it freezes up as I type, and I continue typing, and it catches up, eventually,  but if I typo and know it I like to correct it but I have to wait for like 5 seconds to see if I goofed, and most times I do, lol, but, come on!!,  dum  lag ,  grrr...  Mebbe  the capacitors are going out on this  dell too, LOL...     Im not sure if its best I just stick to watching tv or sleep until I get all parts needed to start up the build, lol, oh well, anyhoo, you all enjoy, Ill be around, may not be for a while still, if things go bad again, assembling the pc and finding I need more parts, lol, ..  HAAALP!.        Bye for now   o:)

Thank you all for your inspiration

   Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for all your kind words about my Why I Relay. I am still shocked and very honored I was asked for it to be read on stage, and I hope it inspires all to keep hope alive in even the most darkest hours. I want to thank everyone for  the best Relay experience I ever imagined possible. Everyone has been my inspiration to continue  the whole time from start to finish. I will say, I cant fully express how moved I been all day,  how honored I  feel with everything you all said in chats as I  walked or ran by. As a survivor, watching so many relay, each for his or her own reasons, gives me the continued hope that a cure will be found. I want to simply say to all,  thank you, for relaying for more birthdays, as  I relay for the dream, to no longer live in fears of cancer, as we all relay for our futures, cured once and for all.

o:')

Why I Relay For Life

(I recorded this with Audacity, using a web based text to speech site and had the honor of reciting it at the Relay For Life of Second Life 2011 Kick-Off Ceremony on July 16th)


My name is Jennifer Wolf. In Second life I'm known as Bootedgirl Foxtrot. I am thankful for many things, including the technology that allows me here, to voice why I relay.

I relay for life for those who I have loved, known, and will always remember. I relay for a cure, a hope, a wish, to come true. I relay for those who have heard the answers to, "How long do I have?".  I relay for those who's family could not deal with knowing, their daughter has cancer.

In September of 2008, I was told I would be lucky to see Christmas, which is also my birthday as well. I went through series of tests, scans, emergency surgeries, nerve damage to vocals during a tumor extraction,  being revived twice during surgery on separate occasions, then poisoned with chemo treatments.

I proved prognosis time frames are not set in stone, I survived an extended hypoglycemic blackout adding more damage to more nerves, and I had to sign waivers to allow myself more quality of what life I could hold onto.

Through the devotion of my best friend and her family, I had the care and emotional resources needed to overcome my fears and hold onto goals, and have help to prepare for "what ifs", which understandably, was something my immediate family could not do for my peace of mind.

After risky procedures and time to heal, I have made it to the point I'm slowly recovering, awaiting for possibly more procedures and possible radiation treatments pending any more findings through scans.

Now, I no longer recognize the girl I see in the mirror, but now see a survivor, who still loves the same, dreams the same, and at times laughs the same at my own dark humor. I created my Second life account the week I stopped working. I relayed for the first time in Second life in 2009, I found loving friends, and my virtual happiness in 2010.

I relayed in 2010 while I was very sick, and that meant alot to me at a time I could not walk well at all in real life. Now in 2011, I relay again, for more life to have with loved ones, on all formats of reality. I relay to celebrate survival, for my own, and for others who made it through, when doctors were sure we would not.

I relay for each day I  awake, for each moment I see my Second life partner, my Love Jay, who saw me through many late hours of pain, and now enjoy many late hours of laughter. I relay for others to have what I now have, a chance to live and give back hope, and help however I can.

In 2011, I relay, for those who stood by me, loved me and cared for me, never waiting for the worst, but looking at all the best there was to live in, and for, and giving nothing but hope.

I relay for those, who seen the darkest hour, and lived to see the light of hope, to have this chance to type this now, wishing not to one day regain my ability of speech, but for more miracles to touch others living in their hardest hours. I relay for you, and I, for all who cared for us, and all who gave hope, love, and their time.

I relay for, each day we all can awake, with the gift of time we are given, to see the world, and love and be loved, and continue to pass on the very hope that will live on forever. I relay for the dream, for more time, for all those touched with cancer, to have quality time, in life, without pain.

Life Is So Funny

Life is so funny, tried laughing each day,
I prayed hard to God, to show me the way,
For all the mistakes, I had made in my life,
Great pains I had felt, like a dull jagged knife,
My heart is so full, I have much to give,
Alot to offer, I wish longer to live,
My name is Jennifer, I was not to blame,
Life's so funny, outside is different, inside the same,
Friends came into my life, in a magical way,
Each day I prayed, please God, let me stay,
Our times seemed short, we have all known each other,
You all rejoiced, with news I got my snowy weather,
Life is so funny, I truly thought that was it,
It got close like a blemish, I almost did go like a zit,
I always stayed silly, although inside I cried,
I never want to leave, so I never just say "bye",
This world is so big, and I am so small,
So many things, I have goals to see it all,
I thank you all so much, for giving me love,
Something special to have, to still take up above,
This poem I rewrite, it is all from my heart,
The first time was hardest, I fell completely apart,
My wish is to live, I thought would never come true,
Now I no longer cry, life for me is much easier to do,
So to God I continue to pray, always let me see snow,
Many times I stayed, life simply wont let go,
As the trees turned white, and the meadows did glisten,
My prayers never final, please God, please still listen,
Watch over my family, my mom and my dad,
And my brother now better, though he sure took this bad,
Thank you for bringing me Cindy, she has an angel's touch,
Her heart so great, my friend I love you so much,
This has not been a "good bye", not even a "bye for now",
I'm so thankful for each day, I'm still alive and wont ask "how?",
This wish you did do, I survived, my body just might last,
I know life is not forever, not even short as I thought in the past,
So in this poem, my prayers I wrote,
I know it was read often, I know God did take note,
I thank you all my friends, for loving me so,
I wished I could stay, Im here!, I didn't go!
Even as I go rest, my life remains bright,
I will see you all tomorrow!, for it's no longer sad, when I say to you, "goodnight".









   ~Jennifer Wolf   7-15-2011